i wonder if you know how much you've hurt me.
but it doesn't matter, because i'm just fine without you.

"Jesus Your Name is healing,
Jesus Your Name gives sight,
Jesus Your Name will free every captive,
Jesus Your Name gives life.

Jesus Your Name is holy,
Jesus Your Name brings life,
Jesus Your Name above every other,
Jesus Your Name gives life.

Jesus Your Name is power,
Jesus Your Name is light,
Jesus Your Name will break every stronghold,
Jesus Your Name is life.

Jesus Your Name is life."

kisses from casa lomaaa

i miss this and i imagine that it's a small taste of what heaven will be like.

I wish things didn't have to be this way and I wish things never turned out like that. I'll never know until Heaven why this happened but I know that God had a plan a reason for things turning out this way.

"I stand to praise Him.
But I fall on my knees.
My spirit is willing.
But my flesh is so weak.

So like the fire in my soul,
Fan Your flame and make me whole.
Lord you know where I've been,
So light the fire in my heart again."

There are some people that I will never understand.
And I've realized I don't need them.

This week I saw my first dead person. I don't mean to sound morbid, but it was a pretty impacting moment. I know that as a nurse I'm going to be coming face-to-face with death all the time, but the first time you see it it really hits you. I guess what stuck me the most was the stillness. I almost thought she was made of wax - it was hard to believe that someone could be that still.
We as people are so afraid of death. When I was up on the palliative ward, the staff talked about dying as if the person had "fallen asleep" or "slipped away." A lot of the family members chose to hold a "celebration of life" for their loved one instead of just calling it a funeral. Not that there's anything wrong with celebrating someone's life, but it just seems to me that our North American culture often shies away from death too much. We live as if we're not going to die, we never talk about death, and then when someone we love dies, we're totally unprepared and just lose it.
The truth is that we were never made to die - that's why we're so uncomfortable with it. Even our own bodies try to prolong life as much as possible and even when someone's heart stops, their body can often resusitate itself. Death was never meant to happen, but because of sin it's something that nearly every human being will have to face.
I guess that at that moment I was struck by the sobering reality of how fragile life is and how out of control of our own lives we really are. When it comes down to the moment we die, it doesn't matter how famous we were, how much money we had, how good looking we were... You can't take any of that with you, not even your own body, which is really just a shell.
That's why it's so important to be right with God. He could take your life away in a moment. The experience of this past week taught me how God really is all we need and all we have. Everything else around us has been gifted to us from Him.
I'm glad that I don't have to be afraid of death. I'm so thankful that God saved me and that one day when I leave this earth, I'll see Him face to face and there will be no more death. I can't wait for that day.