i wonder if you know how much you've hurt me.
but it doesn't matter, because i'm just fine without you.

"Jesus Your Name is healing,
Jesus Your Name gives sight,
Jesus Your Name will free every captive,
Jesus Your Name gives life.

Jesus Your Name is holy,
Jesus Your Name brings life,
Jesus Your Name above every other,
Jesus Your Name gives life.

Jesus Your Name is power,
Jesus Your Name is light,
Jesus Your Name will break every stronghold,
Jesus Your Name is life.

Jesus Your Name is life."

kisses from casa lomaaa

i miss this and i imagine that it's a small taste of what heaven will be like.

I wish things didn't have to be this way and I wish things never turned out like that. I'll never know until Heaven why this happened but I know that God had a plan a reason for things turning out this way.

"I stand to praise Him.
But I fall on my knees.
My spirit is willing.
But my flesh is so weak.

So like the fire in my soul,
Fan Your flame and make me whole.
Lord you know where I've been,
So light the fire in my heart again."

There are some people that I will never understand.
And I've realized I don't need them.

This week I saw my first dead person. I don't mean to sound morbid, but it was a pretty impacting moment. I know that as a nurse I'm going to be coming face-to-face with death all the time, but the first time you see it it really hits you. I guess what stuck me the most was the stillness. I almost thought she was made of wax - it was hard to believe that someone could be that still.
We as people are so afraid of death. When I was up on the palliative ward, the staff talked about dying as if the person had "fallen asleep" or "slipped away." A lot of the family members chose to hold a "celebration of life" for their loved one instead of just calling it a funeral. Not that there's anything wrong with celebrating someone's life, but it just seems to me that our North American culture often shies away from death too much. We live as if we're not going to die, we never talk about death, and then when someone we love dies, we're totally unprepared and just lose it.
The truth is that we were never made to die - that's why we're so uncomfortable with it. Even our own bodies try to prolong life as much as possible and even when someone's heart stops, their body can often resusitate itself. Death was never meant to happen, but because of sin it's something that nearly every human being will have to face.
I guess that at that moment I was struck by the sobering reality of how fragile life is and how out of control of our own lives we really are. When it comes down to the moment we die, it doesn't matter how famous we were, how much money we had, how good looking we were... You can't take any of that with you, not even your own body, which is really just a shell.
That's why it's so important to be right with God. He could take your life away in a moment. The experience of this past week taught me how God really is all we need and all we have. Everything else around us has been gifted to us from Him.
I'm glad that I don't have to be afraid of death. I'm so thankful that God saved me and that one day when I leave this earth, I'll see Him face to face and there will be no more death. I can't wait for that day.

sweet summertime xxoo.... oh how i miss you.

the simple life

"My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear." - B. Moorehead

What a comfort to know that admist all the confusion, pain, and fear in this world, we have a Father who always has His arms around us, keeping us safe and guiding our way. What freedom to be able to let the cares of this world roll off and bask in the knowledge that God is in control and that we live in but a tiny shadow of Eternity.

no matter what circumstance you are in, you can always find something to be thankful for. happy thanksgiving!! :)

a girl can dream...

truthteller

it's on days like yesterday that you find out who really loves you and who could really care less.

Lord, I can't thank you enough for all of the amazing people you've put in my life. I'm so blessed and I don't deserve any of it. To all of my amazing family and friends - you guys can never know how much I love all of you. You're the best. Thank you xo

xx

sometimes i dream about meeting mr. right... i guess every girl does huh?? :P

Sometimes my life just don't make sense at all. When the mountains look so big, and my faith just seems so small. So hold me Jesus, cuz I'm shaking like a leaf. You have been king of my glory, won't you be my prince of peace.

I don't understand some people. You make yourself vulnerable and put yourselves out there for them. You smile and say good morning or you write them a quick note to ask them how they're doing. And to me it's the lowest form of selfishness to ignore gestures like that. I'm not asking to be your best friend. I'm just trying to reach out and be a friendly person. Besides... I thought we were more than just aquaintances.
There's going to be no crying, no begging, and no pleading. My friendship's free; take it or leave it. Simple as that.

the things we wished we'd said

Life goes by so fast. We couldn't slow it down even if we wanted to. Wait... wasn't it just yesterday that I was that kid with a big imagination and big dreams? Wasn't it just yesterday that I put on my PA sweater for the first time or went grad dress shopping with my friends? Wasn't it just yesterday that I got my University acceptance letter and had sleepovers with my bestie talking about everything we were going to do after grad? Honestly, I can't believe that it's been over a year since grade 12 ended and that I'm heading to the halfway point of my undergrad degree. Whaaaattt?!?!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes I get so caught up in things that don't really matter. Life is short and there is only really one purpose for me on this earth - glorifying God and living out His plan for my life. Not my plan. His plan. I don't want to veer off of His path, but it happens so easily because there are so many distractions and I feel like sometimes I'm being pulled a million different ways. I just don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to miss the mark. I want to make the most of every moment I have because time is ticking away.

Speak now.

Here i am sitting in the library and it feels like i never left, even though 4 months and a whole ton of new experiences/memories have come between first and second year. I was so blessed by Summer 2011 in more ways that I can even say. I'm so happy to be back on campus though and reunited with my nursing class and other friends again :) I can't believe how blessed i am to be here and i will never ever take this place and its people for granted.

packing up memories and moving on; this roller coaster of life

Life flies by so fast. Time elapses without us even realizing. I can't believe that school is starting in just over a week. This has been an amazing summer of growing, learning, resting, re-energizing, loving, laughing, and making precious memories. I wouldn't change anything about this summer - the good times and the bad - because I've come out of it a stronger person, rested and ready for a new year. I'm excited about going back to school and getting closer to becoming a nurse, learning, growing closer to friends, and taking in new experiences. I know there will be hard times, stressful times, and times that I know I'll be stretched and out of my comfort zone. But I also know there will be times of excitement, joy, and accomplishment. Whatever this year brings, I'm excited to see what God has in store for me and I know He'll be beside me the whole way. I'm ready for sophomore year. Bring it.